The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
