Can i not drive my cunt home
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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