WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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