we have officially lost it.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
