life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
