Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
