Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
how does that bad decision feel?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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