i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
