She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
FUCK WHALES
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize