I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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