I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
