Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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