everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
