So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
