Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
