I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
