Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
