you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
