can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
