God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
