Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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