I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Randomize
