Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
