"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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