I need help removing her.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
