There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
