that's an acceptable place to lick
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
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I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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