Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
its not stalking. its research.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
