Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
