Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
