Sponge bath it is.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
