I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
