i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
