I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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