I am puke
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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