Your face is a jimmy john
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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