That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
