Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
how drunk are you?
Several
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
