I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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