Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
