I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
