You just made me feel so damn special
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize