I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
