apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
