If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
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I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
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Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.