I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila