It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
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im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
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I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure