i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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