Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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