So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
