I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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