Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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