Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
