I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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