There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Your shirt... Was in my pants
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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