I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
