the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
