Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
