it wasn't lemon gatorade
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The convent might be a nice break from real life
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
