I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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