I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
