I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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