I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Randomize
