did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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